In this entry I am an elitist bastard.

So I went to Subway for lunch today. This Subway was in the less affluent portion of town, and I have to say, I would really like to know what that ten square miles was thinking.

I guess I don't understand the thought process that yields what I saw today. "I'm a Jerry Garcia look-alike, so I better marry the first fem-mullet sporting fatty that shuffles by me and pump out four dirty little ankle-biters." How does that become acceptable? I swear I saw a three-hundred pound meth addict, how is that even possible? That shit is diet pills mixed with boiled gasoline, you should be thin and bouncing off the wall not waddling around trying to see out of the sunken disasters you call eyes.

I guess I just don't understand how someone can let their entire life become a consolation prize. Thanks for playing "Your Life", we're gonna have to send you home, here is a lifetime subscription to "Give Up Monthly", try our home game.

Sex, Drugs, and Geritol?

As I drove in to work today I heard former band members of REO Speedwagon playing in the studio of the Bob and Tom Show. They bit ass.

This prompted a line of thinking, is there anything else that is at once so pathetic and so magnificent as an aged rock star? Think Mick Jagger or Steven Tyler.

What the hell are things going to be like when its the guys from Blink 182 are hobbling around the stage in walkers talking about farting on people and flirting with 14 year old girls? Snoop Dogg with a colostomy bag? You have to thank Christ for the ones that died young...

And another freakin' thing...

The Malajusted Two got into a prestigious business school last week. I am now losing The Malajusted One's Psychotic Competition With the Whole of the Known Universe...highlights at eleven.

Patience is a virtue...it is also absent.

I suck at waiting. I don't know if it was the brain-blistering pace of Sesame Street or if someone has been sneaking speed into my drinking water for the last 24.5 years (I was a fairly patient six-month-old), but I do not play this game well.

Given the current law school application situation (currently and quite unexpectedly getting my ass handed to me). I have begun flipping out again about what to do post-admissions-cycle-implosion. I live in one of the most boring cities in the US, devoid of appreciable natural formations and so middle-of-the-road in every imaginable way that it makes me want to drive at high speed down the wrong side of that very road. Fortunately for my wallet, and unfortunately for my decision-making process I have about the best possible job I can think of in my current field. I don't mean that I skip to work everyday burping up sunshine and crapping out rainbows, but it doesn't consume my life, I'm not racked by job-stress, and I get paid almost exactly what I did in a market with a 50% higher cost of living.

All in all a decent setup, but I am mentally thrashing like a freshly caught bass to get the fuck out. Of everything, all of it. I feel so damned penned in all the time. I occaisionally fantasize about a cardboard box under the overpass or shitting in a coffee can in some shack in the woods just for the lack of obligations.

Goddamn you Sesame Street...

Harvard doesn't seem to be living my vision...

I'm having a bit of a problem with some of the nation's top law schools.

In short, they don't seem to want to let me in...

Ok, listen up law schools and/or centers. This isn't going to work for me. I'm going to need you guys to step it up a notch and think outside the box for me. Let's start leveraging some assets, shifting some paradigms, and synergizing some synergies. I hope you aren't married to the idea of taking the weekend off... That is all.

The Beginning

Welcome to The Maladjusted. I am The Maladjusted One. There may occaisionally be posts by others like me who will be known as The Maladjusted Two and The Maladjusted Three and so on...


This blog stems out of the post-college funk that I and several of my friends (to varying degrees) have fallen into in the past couple of years. We are all reasonably successful and fairly unreasonably unhappy (again, to varying degrees).

We don't really have any right to complain, but we will anyway. Thanks for joining us.